Americans the Beautifulest

This coming weekend is the one of the paramount celebrations of the year. Because 239 years ago 56 badass, rich white dudes in frilly suits signed what was essentially an eloquent “screw you” to the British crown, we have an excuse to blow up things and sport the stars and bars in every way imaginable. Because ‘Merica. We get off work, we go to the lake or the park, spend time with family, drink a beer, and get loud (not necessarily in that order)… the whole nine yards. It’s an event for the books.

But that nagging question (that I know is already in your head!) remains…

What do I wear?

So what do you wear? Here is my humble, yet appropriately American solution.

|Dress - Mom's in the 80's|Swimsuit top - Target $30|hat - street vendor E9|shorts - PX $7 on sale|shoes - German designer brand (really) $20 on sale|sunglasses - under the bleachers somewhere|
|Dress – Mom’s in the 80’s|Swimsuit top – Target $30|hat – street vendor €9|shorts – PX $7 on sale|shoes – German designer brand (really) $20 on sale|sunglasses – under the bleachers somewhere|

Seems simple enough.

For all you history buffs, nostalgic folks, or those who are into the vintage thing (aka everybody), this look is for you: a throwback to the birth of a nation… THE nation. I mentioned men in frilly suits… but the women had their share of frills, too. This look is a modern tribute to those heroic early colonial women (minus the excessive layers). Martha Washington with a touch of Betsy Ross and everyone who sees you will know that your blood runs red, white, and blue. Plus, the dress’ built in bib is perfect for that summer BBQ. Practicality ftw!

This dress is light, it’s thin, and through it you can see my red and white print bathing suit. This is an essential element in order to bombard everyone with my love of the lake/beach which is basically equivalent to loving America. I’m outdoorsy and bold (like ye old pioneers)… but not too bold, as if to say, “I’m American… what’s your point?”  

If you have a hat – perfect! The bigger the better. But you want best? Opt for a bonnet. I have yet to find a good one, so if you’ve got a good bonnet supplier please let me know in the comments.

And lastly, as a final touch, the front portion of my dress is tucked into my Daisy Duke, flag print, cut off shorts (can you honestly get more American than that?  Honestly?).

Party in the front, party in the back.

|old-fashioned bed-warmer (painted) – German market €10 and world-renowned painter Ann McDaniels|
|bug-repellent candle – showed up on our back porch.  But you can probably get it at Walmart, according to my mom who knows everything.|

As a continuation of last week’s blog, here are the clutch options you have with this particular outfit.

Option 1 // Bed-warmer

Keep the vintage theme going and opt for the flag-painted, old-fashioned bed-warmer. Bonus points if you fill it will coal (from the BBQ) and throw it under your blankets before you crawl in. You know, if the July evening happens to miraculously be cold.

Option 2 // Bed-bugger

This little guy perfectly matches the shoes I’m sporting (which, btw are SUPER comfortable – highly, highly recommend). Not only that, but you can avoid the need for stinky bug spray by lighting the candle within this all-American pot. The label promises to repel mosquitoes and other flying insects… basically a win-win-win.

RICOH IMAGINGAnd, as Americans, we’re all about winning.  (Back-to-back World War champs, baby!)

To finish, here’s a shot of the back of the outfit. This disguises the modernization I’ve added to the dress, reveals my swimsuit, and all around just ties everything together nicely. I missed a button, you say? Intentional. ‘Cause who needs to look like they care too much?

So crack open a PBR – here’s a toast to 239 years of style and doing things the best (read: American) way. Three cheers for the good ol’ US of A.


ps. Go watch the US Women’s soccer team kick German butt during the FIFA World Cup on Tuesday at 7pm! DO IT. If you’re American this shouldn’t even require a second thought.

I am America (and you can too).

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