I’m just a little [gray] rain cloud…

Name that movie!maxresdefault

Obviously the lyric is “a little black rain cloud” (hence the brackets), but you try to make an apropo and witty title for a post. Rain clouds are usually gray. Unless it’s night. Then if there are rain clouds everything is black. No wonder those bees weren’t fooled…

If you’re in Kansas or Missouri right now (heck, if you’re in the Midwest at all) you’re well aware of the ocean that’s being dumped smack in the middle of our great nation.  Between receiving FLASH FLOOD WARNING IN YOUR AREA text messages to rain delays at Kauffman Stadium (which is where the Royals play not that you didn’t know), the cats and dogs have hardly given us a break.

Due to the ever-looming threat of precipitation my backyard is practically Ireland incarnate. One might call it the swamps of home. Just yesterday (in case you missed my post) I spent my commute to Kansas City in these conditions and TWICE experienced zero visibility when an abundance of puddle water was spewed onto my windshield by a passing car. That and some moron in front of me on the highway was driving without their headlights on! Don’t even get me started.

What you can get me started on is my //fashun recommendation of the day!  I’m really excited – we’re going monochromatic.

|shirt: Old Navy on Black Friday $12|shorts: pretty sure my mom gave them to me and God knows why because they’re my favorite|tights: Target $5|boots: a street market in Germany €4|bathrobe: a come up $4|looking this gorgeous: priceless|
Call me Eeyore, but I actually love the rain, I love the clouds, I love a good “dreary” day. So, I began by electing a color pallet inspired by the clouds that have skirted their way through the sky during the past week: gray.
Muted. Lovely. Subtle.
Don’t even argue that it’s not a color. Gray is clearly the epitome of pre-summer gorgeous.
However, ever since that putrid book series and subsequent movie premiered (need I even name drop?), this color has been robbed of it’s worth and associated with misogyny, debauchery, and, worst of all, immodesty. Now gray desperately needs to be reclaimed for what it is.

Gray is feminine. Gray is modest. Gray is beautiful.

Swamp princess status.
Girls named Fred approve. #shoutout
Girls named Fred approve. #OnceUponaMattress #shoutout

This outfit preaches all of these truths. My corduroy shorts are complemented by textured tights and a fully buttoned blouse. Why ostracize such styles and fabrics to the winter? Style is about breaking the mold and going the distance – even in the summer months!

I then chose to add (and this is the clincher) a floral – but still gray! – robe that billows romantically behind me as I walk through puddle-wonderland. The one I’m wearing here is not only gray, but shining, shimmering, splendid (wouldn’t you agree?). This gives an almost exotic atmosphere to the ensemble. Is she wearing a kimono? Or is that a bath-robe? The world may never know – and it won’t – if you wear it with your chin high as you own your elegant gray-clad warrior strut. You are officially mysterious as the dark side of the moon.

The Mulan-inspired messy-bun is a bonus.

Tiptoe through the... marshland (:
Tiptoe through the… marshland (:
Bring it, weather. I am swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon...
Bring it, weather. I am swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon…

And let’s not forget the chunky striped rain boots that declare intrigue, adventure, and WATERPROOF-ness. Perfect for a frolic through the biblical deluge.

Noah would be proud.

The weather is something over which we have no control – your wardrobe choices, however, are a different matter. I encourage choosing monochrome, and gray specifically. The challenge is in the textures instead of the colors which – I assure you – is marvelous fun.

*** shitting dog optional
*** shitting dog optional

Are you up for it? Of course you are!

Join the fight against horrifying depictions of gray and womanhood.

Stand up against weather-dictated outfits and mass-produced notions of style.

Adventure is out there!

Check back on Sunday for Albatross’ next post!

Keep shunning, little //fashun warriors.



ps. These photos were shot during what was probably the only sunny hour of the day. Don’t be fooled.

pps. My boots were, unfortunately, NOT waterproof – always check that BEFORE stepping into a pond.  This is why you must beware false advertising! Rain boots might not actually be rain boots.


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