those summer niiiiiightssss

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dress, probably TJMaxx; skirt, goodwill; umbrella, Eddie Bauer; hat, the garbage; scarf, my mom; cleats, Academy Sports and Outdoorsiness for people who don’t hate mosquitoes

hi guys isn’t summer grand

It’s hot and there are bugs everywhere and the sun is shedding its blight upon humanity and burning me to a crisp. Also sweat is a thing and that sucks. All that aside, is it just me or does fashion completely go out the window in the summertime? Any sense of personal style is abandoned for the sake of booty shorts and tank tops and relief from the heat. But all that leads to is looking trashy and sweaty anyway, so it’s pointless.

BRING ON THE HEAT I SAY. Today’s outfit is designed to protect you from the sun’s harmful (evil) rays and wandering eyes of men as you protect your modesty.

Before any of you harass me, yes, it is nighttime in these photos and the sun is basically gone, but the same points apply, I just had too fabulous of a day running out of gas in my car to take these photos until ~*~dusk~*~.

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Now as I was saying. The base of this outfit is a long black dress—inspired by something I saw on pinterest today that encouraged us to break norms and wear black in summer even though it’s traditionally a winter color. Great idea, pinterest. The problem with black is that it absorbs heat, and this dress is a bit clingy. Since I’m trying to move away from traditionally immodest and revealing styles of the summertime, I paired the dress with a flowing red skirt, which will hide all unfortunate butt-area sweat as well as accentuate my feminine figure without highlighting too much in the Nicki Minaj department of things. Furthermore, as summer is a time of frolicking and sports, the skirt will disguise how much of a struggle it is to run in this form-fitting dress as you attempt to not make an utter idiot of yourself playing soccer with your friends. You inevitably will anyway, but at least you looked good.

Of course, no outfit is complete without accessories. I added a summery scarf to protect my vulnerable clavicle from UV rays as well as prevent any sort of cleavage from peeking through. The sunhat protects my face and negates any need to do my hair, which is a big plus. Finally, an umbrella in the case of any of those sudden rainstorms that have been sweeping the nation as of late. Or just more sun protection. Either way.

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Is it raining? Is it not? Who knows. It could change any minute.

IMG_4698Finally I added cleats for inevitable sporting and frolicking. Go forth. Do the summer things. Be modest. Sweat loads but hide it under stylish accessories.

I believe in you. If all else fails, wear sunscreen.

Albatross out

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photo cred: award winning photo journalist Rosemary Skeleton

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